I keep saying I am taller and after looking in this pic I really believe it.
Loosing 50 lbs has allowed my body to stand tall. There is so much in this statement.
Not only am I standing taller because my body is not weighed down by weight and muscles that are not agile but I am mentally and emotionally standing taller.
I am not anxious about the holiday season because I can handle walking around a store. I can actually enjoy one of my most favorite past-times with my mom and sister this year-yes, we black-Friday shop. Usually though, I dread the lines, the pain, the suffering from standing and walking too much. I have always pushed through because I love this night/day with my Mom and sister but it was a struggle for me. This also crushed my spirit for the holidays a little because I felt I could not keep up with all that was going on and actually be present and enjoy it because I was in pain. I also know that I will be able to fit in working out at home and not stress about making it to the gym or throwing money away in a gym membership I am not using!
I am so grateful that this year will be different. I am not dreading cooking, wrapping, decorating, and shopping.
I am so grateful that saying yes to beachbody, shakeology, 21day fix, country heat, 21 day fix extreme, tried T25 but I had to accept it was too much on my body, and today I begin Core De Force. I mentally have the strength to know that if this program is too much for my injuries I will return to the 21day fix.
I am so grateful and thankful for my Beachbody family of coaches and challengers to help hold me accountable during this tempting time of year of dark chocolate and yummy meals!
I have had to grow to this, to know it is OK to accept that I can do many things but no matter what I am legally classified as “disabled” and that I will not always be able to do everything. I no longer have the mentality that I am just lucky to walk because I can do so much more than walk. However, I have to be realistic and know that with my ankle fusion, half of my lower right leg missing, knee injuries, right leg is shorter than my left that I will not always be able to overcome all exercise programs. I have a family to take care of and can’t hurt myself. That would do me no good!
There is something for everyone but not everyone will do the same something. That is OK!
So, here is my son and I. One year apart. Last holiday season to this one. One thing I notice most is I found my neck! I found my true joy, my smile. I have light and energy in my eyes. Oh, my son has hair finally too! He is still the same silly, amazing, blessing that I am eternally grateful for and now he has a Mother that can fully be present in his life and attempt to run after him as he loves running away from me. See, running is something I really can’t do well (it actually terrifies me that I can’t catch him, one reason it’s so key I am in shape). I’m sure as he gets older he will learn this and stop running away from me! Probably not because he loves joking around!
I tried to keep this simple but the truth is it’s not simple. Life has lots of ups and downs, challenges and triumphs. Overcoming them and moving on is amazing, learning and growing as you overcome them is priceless. Knowing that you are never done learning and growing is key. These years have not been easy but I have never given up. This year is even more special for me because for the first time in about 18 years I finally feel the most like myself again. Yes, I will never be the same Kim that I was before my life changed as my car crashed around that tree 15 years ago. Physically and mentally I was scarred but those scars have molded me to be the strong person I am today. The person I miss is that happy, joyful, loved all small things, saw the magic in glitter, in love, in helping people, in just simply being. That is the part of me I have been longing for and that is the part of me I see emerging piece by piece.
It is never too late to be who you might have been, change who you are, it is OK to change, the scary part in life is that we do not encourage change and growing.
So today take a step and write down your passion and plan out how you will get there. If it is something you really want and your passion is unstoppable then you will not let anything get in your way. Better yet I would love for you to share your passion below and I will do the same!! Happy Monday and happy short holiday week!
Thank you always for your support and love and if you every need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen I am always here, stranger or not.
Kimberly Hill (Reeb) 